Grief is a deep feeling that gnaws at the individual during its entire existence. There are people who feel the wounds can not forget the situation that caused the hurt and, consequently, can not forgive those who offended him.
There are several reasons that can generate a deep hurt a person, as an offensive word, lies, unjust accusations, shame, and especially gossip. How many times we saw our names involved in gossip which do not concern us, we were surrounded by evil alien to our will.
And this hurt the individual feels a very great distress, that can hurt you for the rest of his life because of the trauma that entails. We can not keep our hurts and prolong the suffering. The other generates feelings hurt as bad as her own, such as sadness, anger, hatred and unhappiness.
Is mulling the use getting hurt? You really need to be talking that hurt all the time as if there was anything more important in life? The answer: No, no use dwelling on it get that feeling. No need to keep saying that suffering all the time, remember that every person must have lived good moments that deserve to be mentioned, even to forget his sorrows.
The Coscovilhice
Undoubtedly, gossip may be the situation that leaves us more hurt, especially if it is within our own church. Gossip is nothing more than reporting a fact with misinformation citing people who did not even know of such frivolity situação.Essa can cause enormous damage, causing much grief and sorrow in our hearts.
In Ephesians 4:31, Paul exhorts that all the bitterness is removed from our hearts. In Acts 8:22-23, Peter exhorts us to repentance when we are bitter. In Romans 3:13-14, Paul says that weave mistakes with the language, they have a mouth full of bitterness. In these quotations it is clear that we need to get all the bitterness we feel and we take care of our language, because it can hurt our brother, leaving him hurt. In James 4:11, gossip is condemned: "Brethren, Speak not evil one of another."
Resentment
Resentment also cause much damage and hurt, we quoted earlier. According to the dictionary, the word resentment comes from the verb suffer, which means to feel again, feel deeply hurt themselves. Resentment is a feeling of hurt that persists long after the end of a given situation and often ends in sorrow, hatred, anger, infidelity, in sin and separation.
We observe today sharply that everyone, at some point in our lives, we experience these feelings. However, it behooves us to give them proper treatment to them, because the more time we spend talking about what caused these negative feelings we will be more anxious and we see no solution to the problem. This is where the pastoral counseling can be very useful, because people who share their frustrations and anxieties tend to cope better with the pain and stress.
We can not keep the hurts and resentments of the past. In II Corinthians 5:17 says that "if anyone is in Christ, is a new creature: old things are passed away, behold all things have become new." And we can not allow our perception of time this can be distorted by past hurts and resentments. We have the capacity to react against these feelings.
We note that in all spheres of society are resentment and sorrow, even in national politics. It's like in football, fans of the club lost a game resent opponents, generating anger and hatred against even the players themselves of their club at heart.
The bitter, according to Nietzsche
The German philosopher listed some characteristics which identify a resentful, according to the article. Check out:
The resentment is directed against someone or something;
The resentment has a score to settle;
For the resentful, the desire for revenge is not enough;
The resentful believes his unhappiness results from the error of another person;
The bitter does not know love, but wants to be loved;
To be able to feel a good man, resented the need to believe that others are bad.
The author says that "the hurt, resentment and unforgiveness, for example, apequenam life (...) When these bad feelings hands to the desire of vengeance, then life becomes so small that it seems a cage ".
In academics, the hurts and resentments could also be widely studied, showing the role of these feelings to the world historical events and their consequences in Western society, which exacerbated individualism and lack of solidarity are increasingly evident.
Anger and hatred
With so many problems, frustrations and injustices experienced by humans in this society increasingly individualistic and selfish is normal to the existence of feelings of hurt and resentment. As is normal feelings of anger and hatred. However, it is not normal is let any one occurs in intensive.
There is need to reduce the emotional charge they carry to avoid greater suffering, because any of these feelings can lead to psychosomatic illnesses and even a heart attack, increasing vulnerability to disease.
According to the article "The role of psychology in the care of children with cancer," by L. Aderson Costa Junior, "since there is agreement among scientists that adults have difficulty expressing negative feelings such as anger and grief, and with a tendency to react with passivity in the face of stressful situations or critical life have a higher risk of developing cancer due to the vulnerability of their immune system. "
The mind of Christ in the 21st century
The author means that we must have our hearts and mind completely clean, without bitterness, resentment, grievances or traumas that we may serve the brothers. According to her, "one of the steps in search of health, freedom, happiness and stability of our bodies and minds is to improve ourselves as individuals and have the strength to overcome our own limitations, neuroses and traumas." Hebrews 12:15 makes an exhortation to peace and purity (..) "diligently paying attention that no one is at fault, separating us from the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you ...".
Forgiveness
Here we present several aspects about the hurt and resentment that so plagued the church members. A word spoken at the wrong time, the wrong way, a thoughtless, an argument without foundation; a boss chasing an employee or a Nazi chasing a Jew. Finally, all this (and more) is reason to take a person to feel hurt, bitter, with a contrite heart, needing help.
But for us to be healed and delivered these bonds and live in communion with God, we must grant forgiveness. Of course it is not easy to forgive those who trespass against us.
Jesus taught that we must forgive. If we forgive, are forgiven, as we see in Matthew 6:12-14-15. Unforgiveness can be costly, keeping us in slavery, opening a loophole for Satan to operate. If we retain the forgiveness of a brother who has hurt us, we are not worthy of forgiveness from God and will be subject to strife and discord, says Matthew 18:34-35; CL 3:13.
The Liberation of forgiveness
The release of forgiveness depends both on who committed the offense and who has been offended, and I believe that both should apologize or release him. Otherwise, the separation between people will always remain.
Indeed, after the release of forgiveness should not forget the hurt occurred. In Isaiah 43:25 says that "you do not remember a sin forgiven." So we should not be recalling past hurts.
The Inner Healing and pastoral work
Often a Christian finds himself trapped in situations that occurred in the past that caused him much grief, sorrow, suffering, depression and, consequently, very angry. It becomes captive of this situation can not understand why you need to forgive those who hurt you.
This process by which we all one day have passed or will pass makes free ourselves from the bondage of Satan, who just wants to see us stuck and distressed. However, we must react and we can only change that is within us is changed. But this change will only occur from the moment we put Jesus in our hearts and begins to live according to God's word. Only God can heal our wounds so that we are sane, no sorrow of heart, without any negative feelings that affect our soul.
We're talking about inner healing that only the Lord can give us. We must open our minds and hearts to this cure, we will go through profound changes, freeing us from any past experience that we've put into bondage both spiritually and psychologically.
We live in an era characterized by complexity of ideas and behaviors, many of them not very commendable, causing deep sorrow, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, etc.. and that makes us think we have reached the bottom of the can. But this is not so, we can free ourselves from these shackles with much prayer and letting God work in our lives. Romans 12:2 says, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind." Hence it is a process of inner healing for us to become better people.
While attending a case in which the person holds some bitterness that is taking it to the suffering, the pastoral counselor must keep in mind that this person, first, whether open, vent, share your sorrows. In I John 1:9 says: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Therefore, the counselor should advise that person to forgive, ridding it of their anguish and resentment. To pray with her so that Jesus can change your heart and follow your case as a way to see the results of this work.
As previously mentioned, to keep negative feelings can cause various diseases. It is therefore important to work with counseling in order to make him understand what it takes to turn these feelings so you can have a healthy life.
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